Better With Age: 10 Pros And Cons Of Dating An Older Man

It is common to see that younger guys find older women attractive and that they can have successful relationships despite their age gap. There are some aspects of dating an older woman that most people would consider negative. A plurality of those who are married, living with a partner or in a committed romantic relationship say they first met their spouse or partner through friends or family (32%).

While age alone doesn’t tell you how far along a person is in life, chances are you have way different experiences and dating history. “The dating pool can seem full or empty, depending on how you look at it,” says Tammy Nelson, PhD, a certified sex and couples therapist and author of The New Monogamy. “Expanding it to include those who are younger can widen the possibilities of potential partners.” You know a woman needs her options. It’s also worth noting that a 2014 study in Social Science Research Networkfound that the larger the age gap, the more likely the couple is to divorce.

Sorry my dude, but you should start investing your time and energy into something that can go somewhere. If you like each other, you like each other, and if your plans for life align, then who cares? We married four years later, and nine years on we are still falling more in love every day. You obviously don’t live close to each other, and she has already told you her feelings.

All that matters is the happiness of you and your partner, so don’t let outside opinions get to you. Try to explain how deep your relationship is to the people around you, and brush off comments from strangers if they happen. If you and your partner are content with your relationship, then other people’s opinions won’t phase you as much.

Be Prepared for a Bumpy Road with Friends and Family

As you two grow closer together, your relationship will get stronger. The best relationships have a healthy foundation built on trust and mutual respect. Since he’s had slightly more life experience than you, he can be a good source of advice if you need it . If he’s past his 20s, he probably knows what he wants to do and is sticking to it.

Can a 20 year age gap work in a relationship?

We continued to date until, eventually, our lifestyles proved drastically different. His career and financial situations were a far cry from mine, and the idea of things getting serious felt rushed and scary to me. He was closer to 40 than I was to 30, and I felt like he’d inevitably want marriage and children much sooner than I would. So I let our connection slip away, allowing my concern over our age difference to overshadow our passion. Carmichael usually advises her clients to just name the issue.

Just get that straight before jumping into the youthful dating pool. “People gave us a lot of shit about that and still do,” Chopra Jonas told InStyle about her relationship with Nick. “I find it really amazing when you flip it and the guy is older, no one cares and actually people like it.” Preach.

Things You Absolutely Must Know Before Dating A Younger Man

Evolutionary psychology explains why men are usually older in heterosexual age-gap relationships. Thing is I don’t really look at relationships the way other people do – I haven’t “dated” or had a “boyfriend” since I was 20. I’ve had people come in and go out of my life that I had a special check it out connection too but we weren’t an “item” and I don’t really want to be anybody’s “girlfriend”. I can’t go alone and I’d like someone I can cuddle with because that sort of thing can be stressful. I recently decided to give someone a chance to date me however he is 23 years older than me.

You could be projecting stereotypes on to them just because of their age, Hendrix says. Maybe you think they’re more settled or assume that they travels lot because you met on vacation in Tulum, but the truth is they’re not even looking for commitment and they only go on vacation once a year. If you’re attracted to someone older, Hendrix usually advises her clients to just bounce the idea off of someone you trust first. You need to maintain your individuality within your relationship because it is just as important as developing similar interests and experiences. She may not say anything, but subconsciously, all of the cougar things on TV and online may be getting to her. That is why you need to reassure her that you are not dating her just because she is older than you but because of how you feel about her.

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If his working days are behind him and you’re still focused on a job and all the ambitions, woes, and time demands that come with it, you may struggle to connect at the end of the day. “Often relationships are built on similar life experience, and the difference between daily work and retirement can be quite a marked one,” Lester explains. “They’re less likely to experience the same judgments and stereotypes if they decide to date an older man at this age.” If the older man you’re seeing is someone you’re seriously considering spending the future with, you may want to actually talk about your futures.